the thing about being someone who’s never catcalled is that you start to wonder why like is it because im ugly???
and then you realize that youre judging your worth by whether or not you are objectifiable to a man and thats so fucked up like honestly its so fucked up
but the worst part about the patriarchy is that it still sits at the back of your mind regardless like “nobody thinks youre pretty because they dont see you as a sex object” like somehow thats a desirable thing and it fucks me up
You’re either public property or completely invisible.
I’m a fat person and always have been. Through high school I never received much male attention. The first time I got catcalled in college I was terrified, but also perversely relieved?!? And that relief stuck to me, sick and cloying like oil, way longer than the terror.
The desire to be found “acceptable” for male consumption twists its way into your psyche so that you feel like you can’t complain, not really, about being objectified. It’s just another tool the patriarchy has to keep women silent and docile in the face of their own oppression.
In 2018 I started making music. THE FIRST is an improvised performance by Lynn Nguyen and J.S.D.Andrews. It was unrehearsed, recorded in one take and remains unedited and unmixed. You can listen to it/follow us here: http://www.soundcloud.com/darkse_a